Look left, Look right, Look up

An out-take from last year’s trip to Edinburgh. Going through the images again recently i noticed someone waving back at me – so much for not being spotted!

Slightly fuzzy? Well… yes does though it appears to be movement blur. They walk fast on Princes Street! It made me smile though and they seem happy to be in the photo. Obviously i was concentrating so much on taking the image i failed to notice them.

Sadly this year’s trip, due to start yesterday,  had to be cancelled due to my mother’s illness and the deterioration in her health. Another time.  For now, it’s about planning future trips and thinking about the photography i want to create.

Bedside Portrait

The bedroom i had during my Norfolk trip ( I visited at the end of last month) featured a rather large  bedside table that was soon covered with this little lot.

I realised that it’s a pretty good appraisal of me and my interests. A portrait even. Not much is missing from the picture.

It also reminds me of a photo i took in Callander, Scotland a couple of years ago that was along a similar theme.

 

Waiting for the bus

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With everything that’s going on at the moment (see the last blog post), it’s nice to be able to get brief escape from it all even if it is only for a couple of hours.

The fact that there will be no Scotland trip this year also weighs heavy.

This image was taken in the nearby market town of Helmsley in North Yorkshire. The town is small but gets a huge amount of visitors each year, though i would say that the people in the photo are most probably locals.

It looks like i’d been spotted by the woman sat third from right.

Enduring the Unendurable

Cancer. I knew it was somehow. My mum had lost quite a bit of weight over a period of weeks and her health issues seemed to get worse. June was about tests and when the dreaded C word was first mentioned. On Monday it was confirmed she had cancer and around 12 months to live.

Cancer. Such a short word with the impact of an atom bomb. The word seems to stay fixed in your head. I’m still processing the news with a mix of emotions – feeling strong one minute and in tears the next. I feel very alone even when people are around me.

The uncertainty is there. You can almost touch it. Next week will be about chemo and whether she can have it. Her low weight of 7.5 stone may stop that from happening though her strength does appear to be returning. Looking at her breaks your heart though.

So for the next few weeks it will be about processing the news and helping mum. All the plans we had for this year are depending on results, tests and a bit of good luck. If possible we will try and get her to Scotland for a holiday. Make the most of the time we have.

I’m angry. I’m heartbroken. I feel cheated. My mum did not deserve this. The only thing we can do now is get on with things and make the most of her remaining health. As a message on some flowers she recieved said ‘stay strong’. That’s what I’ll have to do too.

The Divided Kingdom

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I can’t remember ever posting about politics before on this blog – i don’t think i ever have – but after the events of the last few days it seems as good a place as any to put down some thoughts. I’ve started and deleted this post several times. I’m certainly no great writer but hopefully i can at least put down how i feel.  Lost is probably as good a description as any. So here it is… warts and all.

Over the last few years, I’ve been an increasingly passionate admirer of all things Scottish. I love the landscape, the people, the history and even the politics.  It seems a well balance country, at ease with itself and confident of being a modern diverse nation. At this current time i have never wished more than to be a Scot residing in Scotland. The recent EU referendum reinforced this view with two ancient countries, sitting next to each other, voting in entirely different ways. One ancient country voted looking forward to a modern, secure future, free of hate and prejudice, while the other ancient country looked back towards a mythical version that has never really existed and blaming foreigners for all the ills of the land. One ancient country has a strong sense of identity and place whereas the other has had an identity crisis for years, always looking back on its rose tinted glory days and glorious past that is fast slipping beyond living memory. Oh we should be like we were back in the war –  what? nearly  bankrupt and alone? Many forget that as a nation, Great Britain got virtually nothing out of winning WWII.

The ineptitude and incompetence of politicians has never been more startlingly evident in this country. The circus is truly being run by the clowns. During the referendum campaign personalities were attacked rather than policies, debate turned into farce and the whole conduct of the campaigns was poor. The only unity came when Jo Cox, the MP  for  Batley and Spen constituency in Yorkshire was murdered. Even worse was the fact that Jo Cox was in politics for the right reasons – to tackle issues that she felt passionate about.  It looks like it was that issue, campaigning for refugees, that led to her murder. Both sides of the argument came out with ridiculous claims rather than use political debate to inform voters. Proper information was scarce which makes me wonder if the actual politicians were that well informed themselves. I came out of the referendum no wiser as why we should remain or leave. It was like being talked at, rather than being talked to. Engagement with voters was non-existent. It summed up everything wrong with politics in the UK in the 21st century and  yet the British people were supposed to make an informed decision?

To have the weakest parties and most divisive politicians for years try and deal with a political issue as complicated and important as EU membership seems reckless to say the least. Maybe we shouldn’t be surprised at the result. Maybe we deserve it. This has been building up for years.  For good politics you need good politicians and the UK currently has few with the intelligence, foresight and statesmanship needed for good governance. The British are also terrible at holding their politicians to account. With the media training politicians now receive, they have been able to mislead, dupe and avoid with remarkable skill. Time after time. Year after year. Why don’t we get rid of them?  It’s probably because we think they are all tarred with the same brush. Vote for him, her or him… doesn’t matter which really. For years the reputation of politicians and politics in general has been plummeting in the UK. As the quote by Joseph de Maistre rightly says ‘Every nation gets the government it deserves‘.  Only in Scotland does there appear to be some sort of order, calm and leadership at the moment. It’s ironic that currently the most obvious choice for the Prime minster’s job in London is currently Nicola Sturgeon, first minister of Scotland.

So what of the future? A good question and one that no one seems to have the answers. Personally i see the country weakened by the leave vote rather than strengthened. I could be wrong but the decision to leave just appears to add even more instability when we should be trying to reduce it. Worse still is the divisive nature of the referendum. In 2014, i was in Scotland around a week before the independence vote took place and the tension was palpable. The Yes pro independence campaign were everywhere on Skye and the first No campaign sign i saw was down near Stirling  and had been smashed  up quite violently with a fence post. By the time you got to the Scottish borders, the Yes signs had been replaced with No. Geography did play its part. For some Yes voters the No vote was a betrayal of country. You were a traitor, plain and simple. Sadly some of that attitude seems to have been present in the EU referendum. There is a lot of anger about and bad feeling on both sides which may linger and intensify if things don’t go well. We are not a United Kingdom.

There is some doubt creeping in about the leave decision though. Already UK regions have started to count the potential cost of leaving with Cornwall already starting to look for where the 60 million pounds of funding will come from. We want to leave but we also want to keep receiving the cash seems to be the message. That might be a tough call. The Union of England and Scotland, created in 1707, has been weakened  as a result of Scotland deciding on independence – a vote it would most probably win now. How things can change in 18 months. What looked as though a decisive decision on Scotland’s future for several generations has now been put into doubt yet again.  No big deal if Scotland goes? Well if the Union was broken up, the idea of the country still being called the United Kingdom would be ludicrous and we could lose the iconic Union flag, better known as the Union Jack. How could we keep it?

There is a long road ahead and no-one has a map. What it will bring is anyone’s guess. One thing that it will bring is a lot of uncertainty for the next few years.